


My Eternal Sunshine

by Bagel_txt



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Doctor Leorio Paladiknight, M/M, Trans Kurapika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagel_txt/pseuds/Bagel_txt
Summary: Um TW for self harm and binding incorrectly but Kurapika has a bad dysphoria day and has very negative thoughts, will anyone be there to help him? (I know it sounds bad but just humor me and read it lol)
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	My Eternal Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Tw for self harm and incorrect binding if you get triggered by these topics you may have a hard time reading this!

Kurapika was crying.

Sobbing, in fact. He was in his apartment's bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He moved his hand and touched one of the straps on the binder he was wearing. He then moved his hand across his chest, still feeling the two lumps of his breasts that he so despised. He looked to the toilet seat to see various sports bras, bandages, and a roll of duct tape. 

Kurapika knew the dangers of binding irresponsibility, but he didn't care. With tears streaming down his face, he removed his binder, put on a sports bra, added the bandage as tight as he could, and stuck it on with the tape. Taking a deep breath, he looked in the mirror and felt his chest again. It seemed worse. Kurapika's sobs worsened as his knees gave way, forcing Kurapika to clutch the bathroom sink for support. He couldn't stop crying. He hated how he looked, unable to fully feel like himself. It was so painful, he felt numb. He didn't know what else to do. He opened the cabinet under the sink and spotted Leorio's extra razor blades. Kurapika was hesitant, but gave up on reason. 

He slid onto the floor and propped himself against the wall. With shaky hands, he removed a blade and positioned it over his left wrist. With his vision blurred by tears, he started to cut his flesh, crimson blood dripping on Kurapika's shorts, legs, and the white tile on the bathroom floor. He must not have heard Leorio come home or call his name because when he knocked on the bathroom door, Kurapika was taken aback, dropping the razor on the floor. 

"Kurapika, are you in there? Sorry I scared you," Leorio said, and Kurapika could hear the smile he had.

"Uh..um" Kurapika said with a breaking voice. "Yeah I am, uh.." His voice trailed off. Leorio didn't respond. Tears welled up again in Kurapika's eyes. He had no strength to continue harming himself, he left the razor on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest and cried. There was a knock on the door again and a voice saying, "Pika, is it okay if I come in?"

Kurapika didn't say anything. He wanted to be held by Leorio right now, but he felt like he didn't deserve it. He heard Leorio unlock the door and slowly push open the door. Kurapika didn't look at him, but he could feel his gaze go around the room, taking in everything that Kurapika had done. Kurapika was ashamed. He couldn't let Leorio see his face. He could hear Leorio walk in front of his shaking body. Leorio knelt in front of Kurapika and placed his hand on Kurapika's hair. Kurapika gave in and allowed Leorio to lift his chin so that they were making eye contact. Leorio stroked Kurapika's cheek with his thumb, wiping away his tears. Kurapika leaned into Leorio's hand and cried. Leorio pulled Kurapika into a hug, holding tight to the sobbing boy. Leorio kissed Kurapika's forehead and asked, "Can I help you out, sunshine?" Kurapika nodded.

Leorio gently placed Kurapika back against the wall and left the bathroom to grab his medical bag and a sweatshirt. He walked back into the bathroom and started helping Kurapika. He grabbed Kurapika's left hand and extended his cut arm. Leorio wet a washcloth in the sink and gently wiped the cuts and cleared the blood. He then reached into his bag and pulled out some ointment and rubbing alcohol. He applied the alcohol to the wounds, and Kurapika flinched in pain and Leorio grabbed Kurapika's hand, assuring him that it was okay. Leorio then continued with the ointment and then bandaged Kurapika's wrist. Leorio washed his hands and then shifted his focus to Kurapika's chest. Leorio placed his hand on Kurapika's shoulder and asked, "Is it okay for me to touch your chest?" 

Kurapika was hesitant at first, but trusted Leorio and nodded. Leorio smiled lightly, making Kurapika feel a bit better. Leorio got out scissors and started cutting the duct tape. After the tape was done, Leorio unwrapped the layers of bandages and left the sports bra on Kurapika. He handed Kurapika the sweatshirt and he put it on. It was Leorio's, so it was a bit big on Kurapika, but he didn't care. He was comforted by Leorio's smell in the sweatshirt and his presence overall. Leorio stood up and stretched his hand out to Kurapika. He took it and stood up, feeling a bit lightheaded and stumbled into Leorio. Leorio caught him and carefully guided Kurapika to their living room and sat him on the couch. Leorio got a blanket and draped it over Kurapika's shoulders. Leorio sat next to Kurapika and Kurapika swung his legs up onto the couch and placed his head in Leorio's lap. Leorio was suprised for a moment, but was happy that his world was in his lap. He put his hand on Kurapika's head and started playing with his hair. 

"Can I talk about what just happened, Pika?" Leorio asked. Kurapika didn't know what to say, but he nodded anyway. 

"Okay so, um, I know how hard it is for you every day I really understand. I want to help you be comfortable with yourself and be happy. I know that you don't like involving people when you need help, but I need you to know that as long as you're alive, I will never, ever think you are burdening me. I will always be there for you, no matter what. I love you, sunshine."

Kurapika sat up with tears in his eyes and said, "I love you too, Leorio. I love you so much,"

Leorio pulled Kurapika in for a kiss, which was what Kurapika had wanted. They separated with smiles and hugged, loving the feeling of each other in their arms. 

"Kurapika, can you please promise me that you'll never do that again?" Leorio asked Kurapika.

"I promise, just be here with me," Kurapika said with his head nuzzled in Leorio's shoulder. Leorio kissed Kurapika's neck and then swung his legs on the couch and moved down. Kurapika moved himself onto Leorio's torso and placed his head near Leorio's heart. Leorio started playing with Kurapika's hair once again. He was humming to himself, making Kurapika feel safe. Kurapika recognized the tune as an old Kurta song he had taught Leorio. Kurapika was happy to hear such a familiar, comforting tune. After having a bad day, laying calmly with Leorio was the best. Kurapika felt his eyelids grow heavy and he fell asleep in the comfort and safety of Leorio's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, make a comment or something idk how this site works yet lol


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